Spoken Word
Dr. Kenneth McFarland – The Best of Ken McFarland’s Humor (1966)
I love collecting old comedy records. When I first heard Bob Newhart’s “Button Down Mind” and Bill Cosby’s “Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Guy….Right?”, I was hooked. They’re both classics that I measure other comedy albums against, even 40 years after they were released. What I enjoy most about older comedy albums is that they were clean. (Ok, maybe not Redd Foxx). I’m not talking hygiene here. I mean they lacked profanity. People could entertain without dropping F bombs every ten seconds. For me, there’s just nothing funny about most comedians who work blue. Once in a great while you’ll see an exception. I think Sam Kinison’s early stuff was brilliant. And let’s face it, Sam never worked clean. I’m not a prude. It doesn’t offend me. I just don’t think that it takes a creative mind to swear.
Ken McFarland wasn’t actually a comedian by trade. Most of the albums that he released were motivational or patriotic. This LP just happens to compile some of his funny bits from years of speeches. Personally, I found the majority of the stories a bit dated but what do you expect for a record that’s 44 years old. There’s some rapid-fire stories here. Sort of like Henny Youngman with longer bits. A few of the stories made me chuckle but there’s definitely some high mileage stuff here.
- Nurse – “Doctor, you’re signing that prescription with a rectal thermometer”.
- Doctor – “Well now I know where I left my pen”.
Ummm…yeah.
Where Dr. McFarland does excel is as a public speaker, something that I’ve always found very difficult to do. If you’re interested enough, you can listen to some of his better known speeches at a website devoted to preserving his works: mcfarlandspeaks.com
I decided against posted audio files of this album for two reasons. There’s an active fundraising effort at the above mentioned website to help preserve Dr. McFarland’s speeches and it’s quite possible that the contents of this album may be part of that effort. That being said, sharing them for free would be a foolish move on my part. Secondly, and this is the biggie, his daughter who is actively involved in preserving his works, was on the Kansas Supreme Court for 32 years, including 14 years as Chief Justice. Now….I may not necessarily be the brightest bulb on the tree……but I do know not to dangle my fingers in the piranha tank.
Continue reading Dr. Kenneth McFarland – The Best of Ken McFarland’s Humor (1966)
Chevrolet Sings of Safe Driving and You (1966)
I love this album. It’s one of those LPs that’s so bad, it’s good. Eight folk songs that have lyrics straight out of a drivers education manual. If this was made today, it would have to be rapped by Snoop Dogg in order to get little Jimmy’s attention. Plus there’d have to be a song about having a @#$%ing stereo with huge sub-woofers that can rattle windows three blocks away. Also noticeably missing is a song about driving while texting. How did Chevy not see these trends coming 40 years later?
Track three on side 2 is a real winner. It’s a song about centrifugal force and friction. Not something you hear every day. While there’s no vocal credits on the album, this one sure sounds like Carly Simon.
Tracks:
Side One
- 01_01 – An Exciting Thing (Driving a Car)
- 01_02 – Grown-up Baby (Driving Psychology)
- 01_03 – Cities and Towns (Driving in City and Heavy Traffic)
- 01_04 – Nowhere Fast (Observance and Enforcement)
Side Two
- 02_01 – Gentle Things (Adverse Driving Conditions)
- 02_02 – When the Wrong Thing Happens (Stopping Distances)
- 02_03 – The Natural Laws (Laws of Motion)
- 02_04 – Man-Made Laws (Common Sense Driving)
Continue reading Chevrolet Sings of Safe Driving and You (1966)
Jack Brown – Jack Tells It Like It Is (1970)
Ka-ching! Today’s selection is pure gold if you like odd records about doing time. Jack Brown did 17 years in six different prisons including Leavenworth, San Quenton, and Alcatraz. After being pardoned by California Governor Pat Brown, he devoted his life to speaking about his time in prison and his addictions. He spoke mainly at schools, clubs and churches. On this recording, he talks loudly to a group of school children about his days of being incarcerated. Some of the wholesome family stories that he recalls are:
- Throwing six gallons of coffee on a fellow inmate who was harassing him.
- Getting set on fire by the Birdman of Alcatraz.
- The “real” Bonnie and Clyde.
- Getting into a knife fight with a guy he cheated out of $1,700 in a poker game.
- Watching 38 men walk past his cell in the solitary block on their way to the electric chair.
Since I can’t find a video of Jack Brown, this seemed like a good excuse to watch a little Johnny Cash from his 1969 appearance at San Quentin Prison.
This was an utterly fascinating record to listen to. The kids laugh at inappropriate times which adds an uncomfortable element but the stories that Mr. Brown tells give you a pretty good idea of how difficult life was in some pretty notorious prisons. I doubt that I’d have lasted until lunch of the first day. He’s pretty brash and brutally honest about his past. Personally I could do without the “finding God” sermon at the end but I suppose that’s the whole point of the album. This isn’t exactly the pick-me-up you need to listen to on the way to work in the morning unless you enjoy graphic stories of getting 232 stitches without pain-killers and then getting sprayed down with a fire hose in sub-zero temperatures. Where was the ACLU? This guy makes the Shawshank Redemption look like Weekend at Bernie’s. And imagine holidays at the Brown house. ”Grandpa, tell us again about the time you shived the guy for stealing your pudding”. Didn’t Norman Rockwell paint that one?
Tracks:
Side One – Jack Talks to Children (part 1)
Side Two – Jack Talks to Children (part 2) & Finding God Sermon
Continue reading Jack Brown – Jack Tells It Like It Is (1970)
